My mom and I have always had a ‘Tom and Jerry’ kind of a relationship.
We argue almost everyday on every single topic ever.
Anything she said, I would outright disagree.
She would ask me to hurry with the food, and I would take an extra 5 minutes to finish it up.
She would ask me to switch on the fan. But by the time I put down whatever I was doing to get up, she will do it herself and say I am too slow.
If I ever told a secret to her, at least 5 to 6 relatives will ask me why I said so. (Took me a while to realize my mom couldn’t keep secrets).
My dad always kept saying that he spends more time refereeing our fights than the ones between my mom and her mother-in-law.
I know my mom loves me and I do too. But this is how our relationship has been.
One day, as I was talking to my mom, the topic somehow drifted to parenting. Our ideas were totally different. She believed that only Mom knows best and only the mom should handle the baby and this and that about how parenting is just another work for mommying. I obviously didn’t agree and argued on and on.
A few weeks after my delivery, I came back home and was so happy to be back. The same day, I found myself frantically walking here and there, cleaning the room, keeping everything organized – baby’s cupboard, bag, files, coming home bag, etc.. The room had just a single cupboard, a bed and a chair but I found myself cleaning it even though my husband assured me that it was all cleaned. I kept taking things from my husband saying ‘No no… I’ll do it. Only then I will know what is where) Tiny human started crying and I rushed to check his diapers and rock him back to sleep. I came back to continue the cleaning and took back the wet tissue (baby wipes 😃 the savior) from my hubby who wanted to help out. Suddenly I realized I was too tired and sat down to catch a few breaths. I started thinking back to the argument I had with mom.
Till the day I went to the hospital to deliver the baby, I had kept on telling my husband how he should be an active parent and do everyday things. But in a few days of holding my bub close to me, I became the mom that I always dreaded. The ‘I will only do it all’ mom. That is when I realized the inner meaning in what my mom had said the other day… Even though my dad helped us out with getting dressed as we were small to homework now and then; My mom never let him independently handle us. She always wanted to do it all herself. And I never wanted to be that way. But I found myself doing exactly what she had done.
That is when I realized – My mom was right… Not about parenting being another name for mommying but about how a mom feels about it. And that is when I started doing things more consciously. Now, when my baby cries and my husband gets up as I do, I sit back down and let him do it. When he keeps baby’s clothes in the draw, I don’t instruct him where to keep what. I let him do it and to my surprise, he knows to do it right. And when the father is so involved in bringing up our baby, shouldn’t I just relax a bit and smile at the happy life I have??
So, Thanks Mee for making me realize it! And even though you should have let dad his share of parenting, I am still glad that I lucked out with a mom as sweet as you, who wanted to do it all and is still doing it all for both of us. But it’s time you sat back and let us pamper you too!
This post is a part of a blog train started by Elina Wadia (‘MomFunda’ in Instagram) where 20 Indian moms have come together to write on how their own mothers were right! Her article on the same topic is linked here
Also, make sure to check out another interesting article written by Surbi (‘Twinbabystories’ in Instagram).