A routine is a sequence of actions perfomed in a particular order regularly.
People find comfort in routines:
Everyone loves their own comfort zone. In fact some adults find it hard to even step a little out of theirs.
- Waking up from a particular side of the bed
- Having coffee, reading the news, scrolling through social media
- Breakfast, drive to office, choosing the route to commute
- Getting back home, making dinner, prepping things for the next day
- Curling up with a book and a coffee on a Sunday afternoon
These are all examples of a routine that people do and feel comfrotable doing.
I read somewhere that for some people it gets very hard to go about their usual everyday happy self if they cannot find their keys where they usually find them. This is true in my husband’s case as well. I mention him because I find men finding it hard to adjust to disruptions. Women I know are somehow always having change in their plans. Either from their parents-in-law / spouse / kids (especially infants).
I somehow feel that routines are those actuions that reassure you in a subtle way that your life is in order. And my life being in order! Well let’s just say I can write a nice fiction post about thigs going as per plan in my life! And now that I am a mom to a 3 month old Bub… Life is getting tired of seeing me bend like Neo from Matrix as it throws its lemons at me!
If my husband asks me to be ready by 3 pm, Tigger will deicide to have a pooplosion exactly at 2:55 as I change his dipes. Bedsheets, any clothes nearby, and even the floor! If we are up and ready the next time by 2:55, husband’s chaddi buddy who got a new PS4 cd will tell him about it and they will continue talking to each other well into the evening! Things like these have become too common now! And I just don’t even care anymore. As long as my Amazon Prime Video subscription is active and the Wifi is working, I’ll settle for a movie with some oreos in my hand.
Getting back to what I realised from my husband. He needs to have a pattern. If there is something out of the pattern, it takes him quite a bit to adjust to it. I used to find it strange when he spent 20 minutes keeping things in order in our home before leaving to catch a train. It was in Bangalore. Traffic in Bangalore can never be trusted to behave. We were going to our native for the weekend. This was happening almost every Friday to a point where I got so worked up and one day decided to do something about it. The next friday, I got back early from office, finished making dinner and started putting things in order. Almost exactly as my husband would. Everything I did, was exactly how he would have done.
I then served dinner. Me and my husband watched ‘Shark Tank’ and had our dinner. (Oh we love the show!) He did the dishes and proceeded to get ready. Once he finished getting himself and ur bags ready. He came out to do the usual. So what happened next?
Patterns and Routines
They put you in a sense of secuity and hence happiness. And that is seen to reflect throughout your day.
He first went to change the newspapers we keep to line the shoe rack. I had changed it already. But he wasn’t satisfied. He removed all the shoes and slippers and checked every single row of the shoe rack and he found it done already. He stared blank for a few minutes and moved to check the fridge. He didnt find anything there that needed wiping down. He moved from one place to another and he just couldn’t find anything to do. I started beaming with pride and happiness. I felt like I had somehow been queened as the ideal ‘Housewife’ (Tell me about judging myself on this topic too often!!!)
We left the house and on the way to the station, he seemed quite restless. I thought it had something to do with his office troubles. I did the same thing the next two weekends. (Boy did it get quite hard! But I still did it just to make sure I wasn’t tensed of missing our train). And him – well he seemed restless again and the 3rd weekend he he didn’t even sleep that well. I then realized that maybe this was because he wan’t doing what he was used to doing. I immediately felt so guilty about it and let him do his routine by himself the next weekend. Lo Behold! Things were back to normal in his life and as for me! Well we still managed to catch our trains!
Do you agree? Do men and women have different ways of functioning when it comes to routines and disruptions? Have you ever had a situation where you had such a revelation about someone?
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