A Generation Without Gender Bias

Ever since I was, probably, 7 or 8 years old, I have always been judged and called out for
  • Not having long hair
  • Not liking pink
  • Not wearing frocks
  • Not having a sweet voice
  • Hanging out with friends who happened to be boys
  • Wearing shorts
  • Riding a boy’s cycle
  • And many such ridiculously normal stuff

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I started hating pink, in fact, I started hating many things that were deemed girlish
And I felt very cool till I was probably in 9th
The menstrual cycle started, hormonal changes this and that and no one to explain or ease all the confusions in my mind.
Result: succumbed to all that I was asked to do. Threw away all the shorts and pants, started growing my hair long, stopped hanging out with boys.
Basically, I stopped everything that was fun for me.
Fast forward to a decade and a half -> married woman, long hair, wears only Salwars and Kurtis and an occasional Saree. I definitelyย don’t like the image that gets reflected when I look in a mirror (It’s not that often that I peep into the mirror but whenever I do… yeah you get the point). I have started working towards changing it. But that calls for another post another day.
And soon, there came my tiny Tigger (not the blog but my son ๐Ÿ˜› )
I neither wanted a boy nor a girl. I didn’t even pick his name. I had just convinced myself that if it was a girl, I shall make her break away from any inhibitions thrown on her and if it was a boy, I will make sure he is kind and well mannered.
Why did I want to do such totally different things?
Because I know that it’s not just me. There is going to be an influence from his grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, teachers, peers, etc..
And I can try, but cannot ensure that they all treat him with an open mind without a gender bias. So, I will have to put in double the effort to make sure he would just hear everything else from the other and not take it all to mind. I also knew that I should be extra careful because if he was born a girl, it would have been easier for him to dress up and be how he wants. But being a boy, I feel he has much more restrictions now.
I am making sure that,
I consciously ignore all the advice I get on what not to dress him up in, what not to get him to play with.
  • I put on pink tees for my tiny Tigger, a cute frock now and then.
  • I got him few soft toys that seemed to be friendly.
  • I have been telling him stories about stay at home dads and astronaut moms.

But he is just 4months old, so I am waiting for him to grow up a little more to do much more.

  • I want to be conscious about the toys I get him as he grows up.
  • I want to learn to reply firm but kindly to all the stupid gender-centricย adviceย I will continue to receive.
  • I want to help him
    • learn to clean – tidy his surrounding
    • cook healthy meals he can have every day. Not just the occasional biryani.
    • wash clothes, vessels – he may hire a help if he unable to find the time. But he cannot be dependant on another human for such things.
    • Behave, emote, express and live his life the way he wants

As long as he is my son, I shall make sure that I do all this and more – neither like a boy nor a girl. But like a kind gentle generous loving strong-willed and level-headed person who this world needs.

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This post is written as part of the SuperBloggerChallenge2018 conducted byย Healthwealthbridge.com,ย Fashionablefoodz.com, andย Allaboutthewoman.comย and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by myself. SuperBloggerChallenge2018 is not responsible for any kind of infringement caused.

22 thoughts on “A Generation Without Gender Bias

  1. Change begins at home, and You have started off well. Keep up the energy. It’s really important to raise humans rather than men or women?
    Mann๐Ÿ’“
    #superbloggerchallenge2018

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful that you are telling stories about stay at home dads and astronaut moms.. do check out this book called Goodnight stories for mighty girls.. why shouldn’t boys read it?

    I have two boys myself and I am making up the rules as I go. To say the least, it has been tough. They have the influence of not only the adults but other kids and boys as well. And most important we, me, our generation is so entrenched in bias, it is difficult to mould the next generation without first holding a mirror to ourselves and breaking some patrichial rules ourselves first.

    I thought this was going to be yet another how I am going to bring up my boy post, but I realised it is in the way each writer says it that makes the impact, and you have said it well here.

    #SuperBloggerChallenge2018 @ Namratha from NamySaysSo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lovely Read yaa.. I somehow feel, our generation ll make this change to some extent for sure. Joining hands with you in raising no delicate darling daughters but girls who ll know how to change their car flat tyre as well

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I grew up with a younger sister and no boy in the house and both of us were exactly like you have described yourself in the initial stages of your life. I feel you completely. But then I have also seen my cousin brothers who were always more enthusiastic about cooking and cleanliness then I ever was. I think I’ll take advise from my aunts and bring up my boys in the similar way. some of it is also what you have mention here

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Our Indian society apart from being a patriarchal one is also very good at stereotyping people. A girl has to behave in such and such ways and a boy has to be so and so… We go on endlessly. My wife and I wanted to bring up our daughter so that she does not have any religious or caste bias. So we did not tell her things like you are a Hindu or anything like that. But our society does not spare even young innocent minds. She came back from school one day and asked me, “are we Hindus, daddy?” Well, I told her we are all human beings and let it go at that. I hope you get my point. #Superbloggerchallenge2018 #Instacuppa

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Our Indian society apart from being a patriarchal one is also very good at stereotyping people. A girl has to behave in such and such ways and a boy has to be so and so… We go on endlessly. #Superbloggerchallenge2018 #Instacuppa

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I so am with you on this, Sinduja. Though I would still want a girl again, If God gives me a boy I will make sure to impart equal upbringing to both my children. It’s true change begins at home. You are doing a commendable job. And I agree again, it requires effort, a lot of effort to bring change, esp in our Indian families, but as they say, a mom can do everything when it comes to her child. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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