Work in Progress

Prompt: Why I love being a lenient (I hope so) stay at home mom!

Life was super organized before I was a mom. I woke up at 5 AM, exercised for an hour, made Salad for breakfast, cycled to the office and came back to a similar routine.

That felt really weird to type because that is nowhere near the truth. I was always a last min person. Give me a deadline of 5 days and I will find all my talent and energy to complete the work only on the 4th day. A lot of people throughout my childhood, teenage and adulthood have told me that I have immense talent (ahem) and that I am naturally gifted and that I would become someone phenomenal if only I made an effort to improvise myself. But I was happy being who I was and no matter who forced their dreams on me, I still continue to walk in the lazy pace that I always felt comfortable in

Fast forward to when I delivered Tigger at the end of 2017. I tried to be a well informed and ready for anything mom. I was prepared (theoretically of course) to parent a premature baby, a special needs child, a kid with some physical or health issue but I was truly blessed to have a bundle of joy custom made perfectly for me with all ten fingers and toes. I was able to breastfeed him since day 1 and touch wood we still haven’t weaned yet at 16months.

In an average week we have half a day that’s bad through and through and 6.5 wonderful days. That isn’t a bad ratio. If I was a happy parent the whole week, I would probably be featured in those funny tv ads that have moms smiling and cuddling with joy. Parenting is not always giggles and cuddles but it is a blessing for sure. I let Tigger explore and do everything on his own. My relatives have all expressed concern about me being a nit so strict mom or setting boundaries (that they set or have seen others set). I have replied to a few and have ignored most of them.

Trust yourself before trusting anyone else. As a mother, only you and your instinct know what is best for your child.

Here is why I love being the mom I am.

  1. Trust builds with comfort. When the child feels comfortable every day with their primary caregiver, they open up about all that is troubling them. The more boundaries a mom sets, the more punishment a mom gives, the more strict a mom is, the more reserved a child becomes. This is what I truly believe in. I don’t let Tigger jump down the stairs or light his fingers on fire. But I do let him know in a soft way that it isn’t right. I am around to ensure he plays interrupted but nearby to also stop him when he wants to eat mud. I set my own boundaries that both I and my son are comfortable in.
  2. I am the primary caregiver. If I am a working mom or a secondary caregiver, my actions would have been justifiable to many. It would then be ok to pamper your kid. After all, I would get to spend only a few hours with him, right? Wrong. No matter how much I would convince myself, I would never become someone to play the Bad Cop nor make my husband the Bad Cop. Kids need disciple in the softest way possible and they need it from both the parents. They will also receive love from both the parents. Why set them a wrong example by letting the father cuddle with them while you become a strict mom?
  3. I do earn a little from whatever content writing I can do in a month. It isn’t much. It isn’t as glamorous or secure like a day job. But it keeps me from going insane. It also gives me a little break from parenting. I love it this way, for now.
  4. I don’t miss milestones. I feel really bad for my husband who misses the first of a lot of milestones that Tigger reaches. I wouldn’t want to miss them.
  5. This is what works for us. Is there any other reason needed other than this? If something isn’t broken, why fix it? U can improvise but why change the foundation just because someone else expects you to. Be you! Be happy! Be Kind. Be courageous and be the best example that a child observes and learns from.

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This Post is a part of the #MomsSpeakUp Blog Train Hosted by Prisha and Nayantara. I would like to thank Surbhi Prapanna for introducing me. Read her take on the Prompt here. I would like to Introduce Mann. I’m sure you will enjoy reading her take on the prompt. Visit her blog here.

3 thoughts on “Work in Progress

  1. I could correlate with your post dear so much and I also have more or less similar kind of story to share. indeed motherhood is the most beautiful feeling in the world and as a mom, we want to watch our kids grow. of course, we missed other things too but nothing could be more precious than our little ones. so it is time to salute all moms acorss the globe. #Momsspeakup


  2. Exactly…after all “being You” is the most important Thing. Loved reading your take. You are soibg an awesome job mom.😊


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